Broken
by Just 2 Dream of You
Summary: One-shot: I can still remember the brat's face when he told me. He told me that I would get the lowest punishment land. Lowest punishment land, huh? Koenma obviously doesn't know me very well. This is the worst hell I could've ended up in. Hiei's POV


Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

* * *

Broken

X -x-x-x-x- X

No way in. No way out.

I knew death would find me eventually. It makes sense that if you surround yourself with something, it'll claim you for it's own. I just never thought I would die so soon, and certainly not from an illness. Not me. I never thought I would be so weak. Even so, here I am in one of Spirit World's many punishment lands.

What? Please, like I would get paradise.

I can still remember that brat's face when he told me. He looked like he pitied me. I wanted to kill him right then and there. He told me I wasn't good enough for paradise but still not evil enough for a bad punishment. He told me that I would get the lowest punishment land. Like the least worst of all of them. In other words I am not being tortured. Physically at least.

The lowest punishment land, huh? Koenma obviously does not know me very well. This is definitely the worst hell I could've ended up in.

Try to imagine and endless straight road, no bigger than a human street, made out of stone with a brick wall on either side stretching up into a dark gray clouded sky. It may not sound too terrible to you but that just means you're arrogant.

Like I was.

At fist I started walking, feeling out my new eternal home. The stone paved road was old and worn out.

It was cracked and I was a little confused that there was no grass growing up through the cracks. I scoffed at myself. This is a punishment land. Punishment means death.

Looking up at the sky I was momentarily mesmerized by it. Dark gray mixed with light gray clouds blowing to the left at a slightly moronic pace.

The walls on either side are what bothered me at first. With a dark faded grayish brown color, they stretched up into the clouds. Just so you know it is pretty high up.

I kept on walking wondering if this was all there was. After hours of walking, and I mean like twelve hours, I half expected to be tired. But of course I am dead; Spirits don't sleep.

I also noticed there was no sunset. The light level, which is like a stormy day, stayed the same.

I looked down and saw several stains that weren't there before. Blood. Many splatters of blood.

"Is this supposed to scare me? Nice try, Koenma." I kept on walking continuing to tell myself that I wasn't getting irritated or scared. It was too soon for that.

Little did I know, that after just a few weeks I would become erratic. I started running to find an end to this road. After days of running, nothing. In front of me looked no different than from behind me.

I had also started whining. A lot.

I don't know if Koenma knew this, but I can't stand tight closed in spaces. It's why I prefer a tree outside over a bed in a small room. It's not like I wouldn't mind a bed as long as it was outside. That was the really cruel thing about this place. Technically, it was outside, but there's no grass, no trees.

Trees. I found myself missing them after only a weeks here. I would give anything to be in fresh air, not the stale dead air that surrounds this place. To be in a wide open space with sound other than the wind.

I'd rather be tortured everyday than endure this.

I tried to calm myself from having a panic attack, but nothing seemed to be working that well.

"You bastard!" I screamed at the sky. "You knew, didn't you! You did this on purpose!"

I was panting and whining again. I had somehow gotten to the point where I didn't care. Pride meant nothing to me anymore. All I wanted was out. Nothing else mattered. Pacing back and forth, I actually thought I could climb the walls. I dug my talons into the brick and started climbing up. After countless failures my fear turned to determination. I _had_ to see what was up there if anything. I started to climb with just my claws digging into the brick. Painfully slow, I made my way up. Every joint and muscle hurt within me but I kept climbing. Hours went by and I still hadn't reached the top. My nails were cracking and bleeding and the pain was now excruciating. After a while, I finally reached the clouds and climbed through them. They were so thick I couldn't see anything. After hours of blind climbing with pain running through my body, I reached the end of the clouds. There was at least a meter of wall to still climb. Adrenaline pumped in me and I climbed faster. My hand touched the top of the wall.

Joy shot up in me at the thought that there was indeed an end to the wall, but that joy was quickly squashed at what I saw beyond it.

It was more walls, just like mine. An endless row of walls stretching left and right just like mine. My heart sank. This was an endless hell, not meant for one but for many.

I let go and fell backwards towards the ground. The wind hitting my back stung and I closed my eyes as I fell.

Was my life worth living? Koenma said I wasn't evil enough for the higher punishment lands. Did I do anything good at all then? What about the others? Will they remember me? Am I worth remembering?

I hit the ground with a crashing blow to my spine. The pain shot me from my thoughts. After a while I sat up. I had made no impact on the ground. It was the same as before. The claw marks I made in the brick wall weren't there anymore.

Nothing I did affected this place. Nothing I did would change it. There was no way in and no way out.

Screaming madly I dug my claws into my wrist ripping my flesh open. Blood dripped down on to the road and changed from bright red to dark crimson. I wiped the blood over the walls like a crazed person.

"Will you change now! Will this make a difference!"

Minutes passed and I slipped further into my panic. I slid down the wall with my head in my hands. I swore I saw the road get narrower. The wall in front of me seemed to move on it's own closer to me.

I put my head down and cried for the first time in my life. My cries turned into hysterical sobs as I screamed and begged. I was not only crying for this life but my past life. I hated it. I hated all of it. The way I lived, the way I died. The only thing that was worth remembering was my friends, and yes, I call them that now. Like I said, pride means nothing to me anymore. They were the small light in my dark soul, especially my sister. Thinking of them somehow calmed me down.

I looked at my wrist and it was magically healed. I looked at the wall and the blood was gone. But when I looked at the road my blood was still there. I smirked a little.

I had made my mark on this place after all.

It has been years now. Too many for me to remember. Too many for anybody to remember _me_. My clothing is tattered and worn even though there is no weather.

I simply sit here on the ground, close to where I fell, with my back against the wall. I chuckle a little when I imagine what they would think of me if they saw me.

The wind is still the same, blowing either to the left or the right, depending on where you look. However, I look up so the wind blows behind me. I have learned to appreciate the wind. It is somewhat calming. Not a strong wind, and not a light one either. Always the same.

Every once and a while I'll hear a scream. Sometimes it's far away. Sometimes it's close. Too close.

Sometimes it's long with begging like I did. Sometimes the language is foreign, but I know what begging sounds like in any language.

Sometimes it's male. Sometimes it's female. I sneer at the sinister thought and how it amuses me but I can't help it.

The females scream longer.

My soul shall rot away here. Over time I'll disappear. You would think that was impossible, but if there was blood on the ground on the first day I was here it means someone else was here too. It'll of course take many, many years for it to happen but it will. Eventually all souls rot away in a punishment land. How else would Spirit World make room for all the evil in the world?

I am so exhausted. All I want is to rest. But no matter what I do I can't sleep. Just another part of the torture.

My years here have let me think though, and my conclusion is this; This is what I deserve. After all the lives I have taken, the blood I have shed, the least I deserve is to be alone in the exact opposite of what I loved. I deserve to be alone on this endless broken road. And for some reason I am at peace with that.

As lonely and torturous as it is, for the first time I am at peace.

~End


End file.
